Saturday, February 22, 2014

On Writing

Writing about writing feels so meta, that it's nearly impossible to do without sounding pedantic, but I'll try my hardest to make reading this enjoyable. After all, isn't that a writer's job - to entertain an audience? Sure I can say all day that "I write for myself," but how true can that possibly be when my outlet is on the internet?

No, no. I definitely write for me, but also for you, whoever you are. The me is the reason that I can not type a word for months and be okay with it; the you is why I look at those words "last post January 1" with such a sense of guilt.

Anyway, that was a bit of a digression. The point I'm trying to make is that I love writing, for all the reasons we do it. I love the idea of taking just twenty-six letters that on their own mean nothing and forcing them into the shapes that define the abstract thoughts in my head. I love someone else reading my words and being able to interpret them to fit their own backgrounds.

I started this blog as a place to write. I didn't ever want it to become something that felt forced or that I would resent. I wanted to use it as a place to form the adventures of my life into stories.

I've written a total of 11 posts since I packed up and moved across the country to start a job - arguably, the most adventurous thing I have ever done in my entire life. Instead of using this blog for it's intended purpose - to use my words to express the emotions of the situation, I've hidden it all away.

I've ranted to the few friends I've made enough that it's started to push them away. I've complained to my boyfriend so much that he limits our phone calls to an hour, and often claims he doesn't have time to feel sorry for me.

Enough is enough. I'll write my way out of this one, just like I always have. Just like the handwritten journals from elementary school, the online diary from high school, and the pages upon pages on song lyrics describing nearly everyone I know.

Whether it's fiction or true, it's always been the words that help me find myself when I'm lost, so why would it be different in Arizona? It's not about the construction of a perfect post, or search engine optimization. It's not about taking the perfect picture or finding the right topic. It's about writing what's on my mind when it happens.

So that's what I'm doing. No matter how meta. No matter how pedantic. I'll write what needs to escape.

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